The Most Random Day In The Mushroom Kingdom
by lovsamonkesuncleyaya
Summary: Toad, Toadette, and Birdo are sneaking in to Bowser's castle to find gummy worms and hopefully find somebody who wants to buy Toad's unusual catalog...but what they find inside is even MORE unusual.


This fic is not meant to be taken seriously.

It was a nice and sunny day in the MK. Well, actually it wasn't nice, for the people who are getting tortured by listen to Miley Cyrus music EVERY MINUTE OF THEIR LIVES!!! But it was still sunny though.

Anyways Birdo, Toad, and Toadette were walking to Bowser's Castle to get gummy worms and ketchup so they can drink it.

"Gish, why does everyone hate USA? Seriously, they're way better than La La Land, that's for sure!" Toad complained in a cheery/weird/scary/classy way.

"Please tell me you did NOT just spell "gosh" wrong. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you? How can you misspell that word?" Toadette complained.

"Sigh, I have no idea why I even came with these two snickerdoodles. Seriously, all they do is scream and whine about stuff that doesn't exist. Wait...did I just call those two, snickerdoodles?" Birdo thought to herself.

"Here we are...Britney Spears's castle of doom!" Toadette said with music coming on in the background that tried to sound scary but failed.

"Wrong. That's Christina Aguilera's castle of doom. Britney's castle of doom looks more death threatening." Toad corrected.

The three decided to sneak in the back door because there might be sex guards near the front door that might rape them, and have horses rape them too.

"Let's just be careful, cause if you don't then I'll just leave and most likely get killed by a talking door that came from Uranus." Birdo said.

"Don't worry, we'll be careful just for you!" toadette said in a satanic way.

They entered through the back door, and they got into a room. It was dark in there so Toad flipped the light on. Once it was on, the three stared in horror as they saw...

Bananas! They were alive though and they were all staring at them, even though they didn't have eyes.

"Um, hi, do have any ketchup or gummy worms?" Birdo asked.

"Why? You don't wanna eat us? Like every pathetic human/animal/ghost/pirate/video game characters/talking doors on this planet?" Said a random banana.

"No. We hate bananas!" Toad said.

"You...hate us!? WE GAVE OUR ALL FOR YOU PEOPLE TO MAKE YOU HEALTHY!! AND THIS IS WHAT WE GET!?!?! KILL THEM!!!" Said another random banana. Then the bananas started running towards the confused three.

"WAIT!!! STOP!!! YOU NEED TO GET THIS CATALOG FIRST BEFORE WE DIE OR ELSE IT WON'T MATTER IN THE END!" Toad yelled, but the bananas didn't listen to him.

The three of them ran around the room finding somewhere to hide. Toadette unfortunately tripped over nothing, leaving her helpless.

"AHA!!! EVERYBODY EAT HER LIKE THE PEOPLE EAT US!!!" Said another random banana.

"STOP!!! I'M ONLY FOUR YEARS OLD!!!" Toadette screamed, even though she was't actually four.

The bananas began biting on every part of Toadette's body, which obviously caused her immense pain.

"AAAHHHH!!!! THIS FEELS SO WEIRD YET IT HURTS AT THE SAME TIME!!!" Toadette screamed. The bananas began to tear open her chest and started to eat her insides.

"Oh hey, that's what my insides look like!" Toadette pointed out as she noticed her intestines and other organ parts from her cutted open chest. She started to feel faint as the bananas continued to tear out and eat her intestines. Toadette finally died of too much pain and blood loss.

"Oh no...if they wanted to eat her, they could at least put frosting and sprinkles on her first! Whip cream wouldn't hurt either." Birdo commented. She saw Toad run into a room and she decided to hide in a nearby cabinet.

"Oh my god, that was so not cool!" Toad said. He looked around him in the room and saw nothing but alive apples.

"What the french? Is this like the house of mutant fruits or something?" Toad asked.

"Yes, but that won't meant a thing to you, cause you're gonna die! EAT HIM!!!" Said a random apple and all the other apples began running towards him.

"Wait!! You need to buy my catalog first!" Toad yelled but it was too late as he was knocked down to the ground. The apples started to dogpile on him in a somewhat disturbing yet, spirtual way. Toad was eventually suffocated by the huge amount of weight on him.

"Mmmm, that was a good meal! That was way better than the time we ate those talking doors!" Said a random banana.

"I know! We should eat this kind of junk more often!" Said another random banana.

"Wait a second...bananas can be eaten, right? Of course! That means I can eat them! But I have to eat them before they eat me hmm...oh! I got it!" Birdo said like she got an idea. She quickly ran out of the cabinet and out the back door....wait a second, her, Toad, and Toadette couldn't have just ran outside and saved themselves?

"Hey! One of them got away! Get him/her/it/that!" Said another random banana that nobody cared about. All the bananas ran outside.

"Hello bananas. Meet my boyfriends!" Birdo said in a disturbing/satanically/awesome/laughable way.

Her boyfriends were none other than a bunch of bigfoots (AKA sasquatch) that were hungry...VERY hungry.

"Let the feast begin!" Birdo yelled in a non-dramatic way. The bigfoots ran towards the bananas at the speed of light.

"OH EM GEE!!!" All the bananas yelled. The bigfoots began eating every banana they could see in a vicious manner. Actually, their manner was SO vicious that it caused an earthquake somewhere in Europe.

"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!! THIS FEELS SO NATURAL!!!" One of the bananas yelled while being eaten out, which actually didn't sound right if you put the words "eaten out" in this sentence...well, I actually DID put it there already so...yeah.

"BIGFOOT LUVS BANANAS!!!" Said a random bigfoot.

"But bananas don't love you!" Said a banana that wasn't being eaten. But seconds later, he got eaten because another bigfoot heard him.

Minutes later, every banana was finally eaten and all the bigfoots stomaches was full.

"Thanks boys, now get out of here before pumpkin bitch comes and kills you." Birdo said.

"EEEEK!!! I HATE PUMPKIN BITCH!!!!" Said all the bigfoots all the same, and ran like little girls.

"Haha...that oughta teach those Christina clones a lesson!" Birdo cheered to herself. As she started to walk home, a door with legs and arms came out of nowhere and decapitated Birdo with a butcher knife.

"BITCH!! I"M SPECIAL!!! ANYONE WHO MAKES FUN OF ME GETS TO DIE A VERY SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH!!!!" The door yelled in a depressing/weird/calm/suspensful way.

But unfortunately, the door got set on fire by a fire arrow shot by none other than Christina Aguilera.

"Ha! I told you not to come near my castle! But of course, you didn't listen so you have to pay the price!" Christina said in a flirty/sexy/scary/non-humorous way.

Christina then got ran over by Miley Cyrus's SUV.

"Sorry ya'll! I have bad driving skillz, but I'm still working on it after five years of driving random stuff!" Miley cheered. Her SUV then randomly blew up for no reason.

Remember: Always bring a "sacrifice" when you are visiting ANY castle! 


End file.
